I envy those kids whose families are all for teenage love. My traditional South Indian upbringing has let me see the drastic difference between prohibited-love and free love. Just for once I want to be in a relationship, not behind my parents’ back. It would save my already-tainted soul from lies I’ve been blatantly telling my parents since I was sixteen. When other teenagers spent the whole evening fussing over what to wear, I’ve racked my brains planning the date; not just where, when and how but also the excuse for sneaking out of my home.
Fifteen was an eventful year of my life. It’s when I had my awkward first kiss. It’s also when I explored the complexity of lying. For a lie to sound truthful, you have to believe in it first. Saying it out loud seventy two-times helps a lot. It also helps if you fool your subconscious into believing it by muttering it right before you sleep at night. There’s no beginner’s luck. Lying favours the seasoned and the experienced. I learnt it the hard way, got caught, busted and grounded. A few pearls of wisdom in deceit from a friend gave me a start. In the beginning it was just “going to the movies”, which didn’t go well with my folks. I went with “studying with my friends”, which was easy because I actually did study with a few of my girlfriends. I made sure that my grades weren’t bad to erase any traces of suspicion from their minds. Now that I think about it, if I was actually spared the mental exhaustion from contriving lies, I could’ve been a star student of my class. Lesson learnt : Make sure you experience the the thing you are going to lie about. It gives you a lot of material to work with. For example, like me, if you are lying about staying over at your friends’, make sure you casually mention what you had for dinner and how nice her grandmother is. And of course, make sure your folks don’t have your friends’ phone number. If they do have her number and you’re afraid that they’ll check on you make sure she’s ready to lie for you. Keep her posted about your whereabouts and what to tell your parents when they call.
In spite of the ill-gotten thrill from a successful lie(it’s only successful when they’ve bought your lie and you are safely back home and speaking about the things that reinforce the lie), I just wished I didn’t have to lie just to spend time with someone I really cared about. The act of lying tarnished the brilliant glow inside my chest after the date. I felt guilty. My conscience pricked me. The alternative was trying to make them understand. My parents are naive. Still are. Either they were plain surprised or in denial but they refused to accept my theory. After several episodes of trying to make them understand, I gave up. I was initially taken aback and distraught. Countless sleepless nights over my tear-stained pillow, made me realise that there were only two possible ways out of this predicament. Either aliens miraculously land in my backyard and brainwash all their existing memories(and prejudices) or I continue lying to them. The latter seemed plausible.
They couldn't see how valuable teenage love can be, without being realists. True. Odds are teenage love is not everlasting. But at the age of sixteen, I wasn’t interested in finding someone to grow old with. I just wanted to find someone I can learn, listen to music and grow with. I for one, couldn't make my parents see the potential of a teenage relationship.
There are my parents and then there are parents like Mrs. George(from Mean Girls). The kind who make virgin margaritas for their daughters while binge drinking on a dirty mojitos themselves. They pop their heads into your room while you are making out with your boyfriend and ask if you need a condom. I’m just kidding. But I know of parents who pour their daughter her first drink on her eighteenth birthday. I also know of dad’s who’ll drive their daughters home from the bar. But I am perfectly okay without this.
I just want parents who will let me invite my boyfriend over for dinner, over my first baked chocolate cake. I want them to invite him for those innumerable festivals which I’m obligated to spend with my family. I want my dad to call him to accompany him while he’s golfing. I want to have a fight with my mum just because she prefers his feedback on her cooking over mine. Honestly, I just want a relationship in which spend less time worrying about how I’ll sneak out. Why can’t love be as simple as learning English alphabets?
